Thursday, June 12, 2008

When did Doc Rivers become a good coach?

Oh yeah. He didn't.

It pains me to no end that Boston might win the title this year with completely inept Doc Rivers at the helm. It may be one of the reasons why I'm forced to want LA to win, although even saying that makes me feel dirty. Look, I like KG a lot, I enjoy his, uh, ferocity. Ray Allen is one of the sweetest shooters, and that's nice. I hate Paul Pierce, but I'm quite certain I'm not the only one. But Doc Rivers is the part that annoys me the most, everything is coming up aces for him, and he doesn't know his ass from his elbow.

I think one of the most telling parts of his lack of basketball coaching acumen came with a side-interview, one where I can't find quotes from. He was asked how it's different coaching last year and coaching this year. His response? No difference, he coaches exactly the same way last year as he does this year. What a completely moronic response showing your utter ineptitude. You didn't have a KG, Ray Allen, or PJ Brown last year, savvy veterans, so you can't possibly believe that coaching the same way could work with a bunch of guys aged 20. That's idiotic and it's pathetic. Why not put a puppet out there?

What drives the point home though, is those Wired-In spots that they have in the huddle. And all I hear from Doc Rivers is "Hey guys, let's play some great defense. Don't let them score. Let's build the lead!" Yeah, you think?! Thanks for the great help, coach, I thought by not building the lead, or letting them score at will we could win. That is brilliant coaching. You never here anything about strategic mismatches, offensive or defensive plans, or attacking style. It's basically cheer leading styles of a 5 year old John Madden. "Let's outscore them guys, then we can." Just because he has a team that knows how to run itself, he's going to get the accolades, just like Larry Coker did with his '01 Miami team. They don't need a coach - they're that good. What this reminds me of is Homer from You Only Move Twice, an episode where the Simpsons move to Cypress Creek, a company town for Globex. He's put in charge of people, and this is what happens:

Homer: [to staff] Are you guys working?
Man 1: Yes, sir, Mr. Simpson.
Homer: Could you, um... work any harder than this?
Man 2: Sure thing, boss.
[they do]
Homer: Hey, call me Homer.
You guys playing defense hard? Yes sir, coach. Can you... play it harder? Sure thing, Doc.

[SNNP] You Only Move twice